Does that say, “VAMPIRES” ? It sure does!!
One of the most common complaints I hear from my clients is, “I feel tired all the time, no matter what I do I just have NO energy!” Sound familiar?
Honestly, it’s no surprise. If you are like most women ( and some men), you’ve spent the majority of your adult life giving endlessly to everybody but yourself.
At work, people are constantly putting MORE on your plate to which you typically respond – “No problem”, even though it totally IS.
In your personal life, you fill yourself up by making other people happy and then feel empty when they don’t need you in the same way, like when the kids leave the nest or friends aren’t available.
Many of you are reading this, nodding your head and saying – “Yes, that’s ME!” Well, I have a message for you.
STOP giving your energy away!!!
Energy is one of our most valuable resources. And when I talk about energy, I am referring to emotional energy. We have exactly 100% of energy available to us at any given time.
If you are constantly saying yes when you mean no, or putting other people’s needs before your own, it’s no wonder that you feel exhausted all the time. You’re giving away your energy!!
We’ve all encountered those people in our lives that leave us feeling completely depleted whenever they’re around – “Energy Vampires” (aka – EV’s).
What is an energy vampire?
A person who drains the energy of those around them.
I chunk these vampires into 2 categories:
The “Suckers” and The “Dumpers” – (funny right?)
The Suckers are the ones that will take everything you have to offer and then come back for more. They have zero boundaries. They are great at ‘self-inviting’, asking for “a favor”, and “enrolling your help”. They are also EXPERTS at making you feel guilty in the rare event that you attempt to say no.
The Dumpers on the other hand zap your energy in a whole different way. These are the folks that live in perpetual drama. They LOVE to share their latest crisis with anyone who will listen. They always seek advice, never taking it.
They will bombard you with all the ways that life is treating them unfairly. They typically show up as angry complainers or as doormats, just waiting to be walked on, AGAIN.
To be clear, I am not judging either version of these energy vampires as good or bad. They exist, and may have very good reasons as to why they have arrived at this place in their life.
My purpose here is to help you better understand what part they play in YOUR energy profile.
So what do you do if energy vampires are ruining your life?
I have one word for your…BOUNDARIES!!!
The reality is, that a lot of times these EV’s are people we can’t just exclude from our lives. Like, dare I say ….FAMILY!!?!?
The alternative to voting these people off your island is limiting the time you spend with them. After all it’s quality time, not quantity of time that makes for a good relationship. If you’re feeling frustrated or irritated when you’re with them, you’re not doing anyone a favor.
Follow these steps to get started:
- Take inventory of the people who make you feel exhausted in your life.
- Assess what is the maximum amount of time that you can spend with them comfortably.
- Make sure to clearly state how much time you have available, whenever you meet them.
- Avoid topics that are triggers for negativity. Come prepared to talk about topics that are uplifting and energizing.
- Make sure to come to the meetups feeling well rested and able to give them your full attention.
If you follow these steps, I promise you that you will have more available energy to do the things you WANT to do.
Remember, a “NO” to them is a “YES” for you!!! (insert HAPPY DANCE)
How does this land for you?
Can you relate?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop a note in the comments below.