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In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos and lose sight of what truly brings us joy.
Enter the happiness list—a simple yet powerful tool that can transform the way we navigate through life. I why having a happiness lists. I’ll explain why it’s can improve your well-being and how to effectively incorporate it into your daily routine.
Why Have a Happiness List?
How to Use Your Happiness List:
In a world filled with distractions and challenges, a happiness list serves as your personal guide to joy. It empowers you to navigate through life with intention, focusing on the things that truly matter. So, take a moment to create your happiness list, and let it be a beacon of positivity, guiding you towards a more fulfilling and joyful life.
Would you like a custom Happiness List to help get you started? Send a message to lisa@livehappycoaching.com
This is a recent picture of me during our retreat in Costa Rica. When I shared it on social media, I received many generous comments, all celebrating this image as BEAUTIFUL.
Ironically, when I looked at this picture, that’s not what I felt. I felt embarrassed by the image, I experienced incredible resistance to sharing it. I became hyper-focused on those parts of me that I am struggling to find acceptance with as I age. My self – judgment had taken over.
When I looked at this picture I saw:
These self-rejecting thoughts left me feeling sad, embarrassed, and ashamed.
When we judge ourself, we are held hostage by our self-deprecating thoughts. These thoughts lead us down a dark path of shame and self-sabotage.
These thoughts are not grounded in truth, Our Judge is a liar
As I sat with the awareness of what I was feeling, I was able to remind myself how I felt when I took this picture.
I was in love.
At that moment, I was deeply in love with life, myself as a strong feminine leader, and in full acceptance of myself, and my aging body. I was in love with ALL OF ME.
What is radiating from this picture is the energy of SELF-LOVE.
As I reconnected to this memory, I felt the love rise in me again. That is when I decided that this image needed to be shared. I had shifted from self-judgment, to self-compassion.
You may be surprised to read this story. You may look at this picture and assume that thoughts like this don’t exist for me.
Please receive this gently, you are WRONG.
The one thing that every human on this planet shares is judgment. It does not discriminate. Judgment robs us of our happiness, joy, pride, excitement, and love, equally and without exception.
I hope that this reality brings you 2 things; greater empathy for others, and comfort in knowing that you are not alone in thinking this way about yourself.
It has taken me many years to arrive at this point in my life. Although the judgment exists, it no longer wins.
The greatest catalyst to commanding my mind in this way came from taking the Positive Intelligence program. That is why I offer it to my clients now.
It doesn’t matter how long you meditate, how healthy you eat, how much money you have in the bank, or how many people love you. If you stand in front of the bathroom mirror and all you see is a person that you think is a failure, or not good enough. None of those other things will make a dam bit of difference on what it feels like to be you on the inside.
If you want to be happy, if you want to feel self-love, you must first pass through the gate of self-acceptance.
For more information on my Positive Intelligence program contact me at lisa@livehappycoaching.com
What if stop signs were an invitation as well as a directive? Meaning, not only would they prevent potential accidents but also serve as a reminder.
The reminder: STOP being so hard on yourself.
And let’s not limit ourselves to stop signs, let’s include stop lights too. What if your car literally would not advance until you showed compassion for yourself? How different would your life be?
Seem extreme? It’s not.
Sadly we are a culture that requires this level of intervention to remember to love ourselves.
In a world that values productivity, success, and constant self-improvement, it’s no wonder that many of us have developed a tendency to be excessively hard on ourselves. We set high standards, berate ourselves for our mistakes, and constantly compare ourselves to others.
This self-critical mindset can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. It’s time to shift our perspective and embrace self-compassion.
Let’s take a look at why having compassion for ourselves is so important.
Recognizing Our Common Humanity
One of the fundamental aspects of self-compassion is recognizing that we are not alone in our struggles. We all make mistakes, face challenges, and experience setbacks. When we are hard on ourselves, we often isolate ourselves by believing that we are the only ones who are flawed. However, the truth is that imperfection is an inherent part of the human experience. Embracing self-compassion allows us to acknowledge our shared humanity, fostering a sense of connection rather than isolation.
Cultivating Emotional Resilience
Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness, understanding, and support that we would offer to a dear friend. We create a safe emotional space within ourselves where we can acknowledge our mistakes and setbacks without judgment. This nurturing attitude builds emotional resilience, enabling us to bounce back from failures, learn from our experiences, and move forward with greater strength and determination.
Encouraging Growth and Learning
When we are overly critical of ourselves, we often become trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and fear of failure. This can limit our personal growth and prevent us from reaching our full potential. We want to create an environment where we can learn from our mistakes, make necessary adjustments, and take risks without the fear of harsh self-judgment. This fosters a growth-oriented mindset that promotes personal development.
Boosting Mental and Emotional Well-being
The relentless self-criticism that often accompanies being hard on ourselves can have detrimental effects on our mental and emotional well-being. It can lead to increased stress, anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy. Practicing self-compassion has been shown to improve our overall well-being. It helps reduce negative self-talk, alleviates feelings of shame and self-blame, and promotes self-acceptance. By treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, we create a positive inner dialogue that nurtures our mental and emotional health.
Fostering Healthy Relationships
The way we treat ourselves sets the tone for how we interact with others. When we are excessively hard on ourselves, we might project those same critical tendencies onto the people around us. Through self-compassion, we become more understanding, empathetic, and forgiving—qualities that enhance our relationships and promote a sense of connection and harmony with those around us.
Now you may be reading this and thinking, “Easier said than done”, and you would be correct. Loving yourself unconditionally is not a passive process. It takes intention and planning.
Start using the signs as reminders the way I suggested, but don’ stop there. Learn from self-compassion experts, like Kristin Neff.
Schedule a happiness strategy session to learn more creative ways to welcome compassion into your life.
It’s time to break free from the cycle of self-criticism and embrace ourselves with kindness, understanding, and love instead.
My husband is a huge overthinker. He worries about it all; past, present, future, hypotheticals. When his mental wheels start spinning, there is no stopping him. It comes from two places, fear and love. He loves so deeply, that he fears he won’t be able to keep everyone he loves safe. No small task for sure.
The problem is, he can’t keep everyone safe all the time, no one can. When that happens it’s not just that a failure has occurred, he believes that the failure is him.
Why do we overthink? Overthinking is created from the fundamental need to feel safe. Most overthinkers felt a real threat to their well-being at some point in their earlier years which created the belief that if they remained on high alert they could prevent bad things from happening.
Now you may be thinking, but isn’t it good to be cautious?
The answer is yes, it is good to make decisions from a place of discernment, not from fear.
While it’s natural to think things through and consider different options, excessive overthinking can be detrimental to your mental health and well-being.
It causes anxiety, stress, insomnia, indecision, and chronic doubts about yourself and others.
It puts a tremendous strain on your relationships. Preventing the ones you love from learning the necessary skills to navigate life on their own.
Fortunately, there are several strategies you can use to reduce overthinking and live a more balanced and peaceful life.
1. Learn to intercept your negative thinking
Catastrophic thinking is the root cause of overthinking. By learning how to reduce your negative thinking, you can stop worrying about the future and learn to be fully present in the moment. You can train your brain and increase your positive intelligence in as little as 6 weeks, learn how.
2. Set Boundaries
Giving yourself time and space to let your thoughts flow can help reduce overthinking. It gives the thoughts a place to exist outside of your mind.
Set a timer, grab a pen or tablet, and allow yourself to release all of it. Write until there is nothing left to ruminate about. When the timer goes off, that’s your sign that it’s time to move on. Odds are you will see the thoughts much differently from your new perspective.
3. Take Action
Overthinking can be a sign that you’re not taking enough action toward your goals or making decisions. Overthinkers are often held captive by the fear of making the wrong choice. Start by making small decisions to build confidence. Trust that even those decisions that don’t go as planned are an opportunity to learn and grow.
4. Practice Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help reduce stress and anxiety, which can contribute to overthinking. By practicing these techniques regularly, you can learn to relax your body and mind, which often results in seeing things much differently.
5. Seek Help
If you find that overthinking is interfering with your daily life or causing significant distress, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist, counselor, or life coach can help you sort things out and develop strategies to manage your thoughts more effectively.
The most important strategy in reducing overthinking is not to judge yourself. Changing your thinking takes time and patience. Resist the temptation to compare yourself with others and trust that you are on the right path.
Happiness is a universal goal pursued by all humans. Although happiness can mean different things to different people, there are common obstacles that can prevent us from achieving it. Let’s take a look at what may be getting in your way.
1. Negative thinking: When it comes to happiness, negative thinking does some serious damage. What we focus on grows. A negative mindset can prevent us from seeing the good things in life. This can lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, resentment, and isolation. No one wants to be around a chronically negative person.
2. Fear: Fear can also hold us back from experiencing happiness. Fear of failure, judgment, rejection, or the unknown, can prevent us from taking risks and pursuing our passions. This can lead to a life of regret and unfulfilled potential.
3. Unhealthy lifestyle: Our physical health and happiness are directly related. An unhealthy lifestyle, including poor diet, lack of exercise, and inadequate sleep, can lead to physical and mental health problems. These problems can have a huge impact on your ability to enjoy your life.
4. Lack of purpose: Without a sense of purpose, it can be difficult to find meaning and fulfillment in life. When we lack direction and purpose, we may feel lost and disconnected, which can lead to feelings of sadness and despair.
5. Comparison: In today’s social media-driven world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, which can prevent us from experiencing happiness and joy.
6. Lack of gratitude: Gratitude is an essential ingredient for happiness. When we focus on what we don’t have, we aren’t able to access the portion of our brain where positive emotions exist. By practicing gratitude regularly, we can experience more joy and happiness in our daily lives.
7. Lack of social connection: Social connection is the number one predictor of a happy life. Without strong social connections, we may feel lonely and isolated, which can lead to feelings of sadness and depression.
Happiness is a state of mind that can be influenced by many factors. By recognizing and addressing these obstacles, we can create a plan to do something about it.
Whether it’s through positive thinking, healthy habits, or finding a sense of purpose and gratitude, we all have the power to overcome these obstacles and live a happier, healthier life.
Need help overcoming the obstacles in your life? A complimentary strategy session can help.