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Why Am I Not Happy? 7 Reasons and How to Fix Them

Why Am I Not Happy? 7 Reasons and How to Fix Them

Why Am I Not Happy?

You’re Not Broken — You’re Out of Alignment

Can I be real with you for a second?

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve checked all the boxes. The career, the relationship, the home, maybe even the kids. You’ve worked your ass off to get here.

And yet… something’s missing.

You lie awake at night wondering, “Why am I not happy? What’s wrong with me?”

Let me tell you right now: Nothing is wrong with you.

I’ve been there. I’ve had that 3 AM moment of staring at the ceiling, feeling guilty for being ungrateful when “everything should be perfect.” I’ve achieved the goals, reached the milestones, and still feel that gnawing emptiness inside.

Here’s what I’ve learned through my own journey and working with hundreds of women: happiness isn’t what we’ve been told it is. And the reasons you’re not happy might surprise you.

Let’s dive into the 7 real reasons you’re feeling this way—and more importantly, what you can actually do about it.

1. You’re Chasing Achievement Instead of Fulfillment

The Problem: We’re taught that happiness comes from hitting goals. Get the promotion. Lose the weight. Buy the house. Check, check, check.

But achievement isn’t the same as fulfillment.

Research in positive psychology shows that external achievements give us temporary dopamine hits, but they don’t create lasting happiness. It’s called the “hedonic treadmill”—you reach one goal, feel good for a hot minute, then immediately start chasing the next one.

Sound familiar?

The Fix: Instead of asking “What do I want to achieve?” start asking “How do I want to feel?”

True happiness comes from alignment between your daily life and your core values. It’s about the journey, not just the destination.

Try this: Write down 5 moments in the past month when you felt genuinely content (not excited, not accomplished—just… content). What were you doing? Who were you with? Start creating more of those moments intentionally.

2. Your Brain Is Literally Wired for Negativity (But You Can Change It)

The Problem: Your brain has a negativity bias. It’s literally designed to focus on threats, problems, and what could go wrong. It’s an evolutionary survival mechanism.

But in modern life? It means you’re mentally cataloging every frustration, disappointment, and worry while barely registering the good stuff.

You might have 10 things go right today and 1 thing go wrong—and guess which one you’ll replay in your mind tonight?

The Fix: This is where neuroplasticity comes in—your brain’s ability to rewire itself.

When you intentionally practice focusing on positive experiences, you create new neural pathways. Over time, your brain literally changes structure. This isn’t woo-woo; it’s neuroscience.

Try this: Every night before bed, write down 3 specific good things that happened…

3. You’re Giving Everything to Everyone Else

The Problem: Let me guess: You’re the one everyone comes to. The problem-solver. The caretaker. The one who keeps it all together.

You put your family first, your work second, your friends third… and yourself? Somewhere around 47th on the list, if at all.

And then you feel guilty for even wanting time for yourself.

The Fix: Putting yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Try this: Schedule one non-negotiable hour this week that’s just for you…

4. You’re Carrying Emotional Baggage You Haven’t Processed

The Problem: Unprocessed emotions don’t just disappear. They get stored in your body as tension, anxiety, and that heavy feeling you can’t quite name.

The Fix: Emotional energy work isn’t about dwelling on the past. It’s about releasing what’s been stuck so you can move forward lighter.

Try this: Next time you feel frustrated, sad, or anxious, don’t immediately try to fix it…

5. You’re Stuck in Survival Mode

The Problem: When you’re constantly stressed—juggling work, family, responsibilities, and that endless mental to-do list—your nervous system stays in fight-or-flight mode.

The Fix: You need to teach your nervous system that it’s safe to relax.

Try this: Practice the 4-7-8 breathing technique twice a day…

6. You’re Comparing Your Behind-the-Scenes to Everyone Else’s Highlight Reel

The Problem: Social media has made comparison a full-time sport…

The Fix: Stop consuming content that makes you feel “less than.”

Try this: For one week, every time you catch yourself comparing, shift to curiosity…

7. You Don’t Actually Know What Makes YOU Happy

The Problem: You’ve spent so much time being what everyone else needs you to be…

The Fix: The Happiness Experiment

For the next two weeks, try one new thing each week that you think might bring you joy…

The Real Answer to “Why Am I Not Happy?”

Here’s what all of these reasons have in common: You’ve been living by default instead of by design…

What Now?

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay, but HOW do I actually make these changes?”—I get it…

Book Your Free Discovery Call →

Download Free Planner →

Your happiness matters. And it’s waiting for you.

You’ve spent enough time wondering what’s wrong. Now it’s time to discover what’s possible.

Your partner in happiness,

Lisa Lopez
Founder, Live Happy Coaching
www.livehappycoaching.com

Chasing Happiness

Chasing Happiness

Chasing Happiness

Why the Happiness You’re Chasing Isn’t What You Think

A few years ago, I was exactly where you are now— voraciously checking off every box I thought would make me happy. I had the dream job, the perfect house, the loving family, and a social life that looked ideal from the outside. I was successful by every measure.

But deep down, I felt unfulfilled. Something was missing. No matter how much I achieved or how many goals I crossed off, I still felt this quiet ache—like I was chasing something just out of reach.

One day, I realized something crucial:
Happiness isn’t a destination you arrive at after checking all the boxes. It’s a feeling you cultivate from within, a connection to what truly matters to you.

I started asking myself:
What actually lights me up?
What do I need to feel alive and excited?

The truth was, I’d been chasing a version of happiness that society told me I should want—success, approval, material things. But none of those things could fill the emptiness I felt inside.
Once I shifted my focus inward, everything changed. I started doing what made my soul come alive—whether it was creativity, connection, or simply slowing down. And that’s when I found real fulfillment.

If you’re feeling unfulfilled despite checking all the boxes, know this:
Happiness isn’t about perfection or achievement. It’s about reconnecting with what truly makes you come alive—beyond the expectations, beyond the rules.

Your next chapter begins when you stop chasing what everyone else says will make you happy—and start discovering what you truly need.

Ready to start? Send me a message – Lisa@livehappycoaching.com

You don’t need to know all the steps, you just need to know the first one.

Feeling Unfulfilled? How You Can Reclaim Your Happiness

Feeling Unfulfilled? How You Can Reclaim Your Happiness

Feeling Unfulfilled

If you’re a woman over 30 who’s achieved everything society says should bring happiness—career success, relationships, social achievements—but still feels unfulfilled, exhausted, or stuck, this is for you.

Meet Shauna. She was a high-achieving woman who looked like she had it all. But inside, she was overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and feeling increasingly disconnected from herself. She often felt anxious, resentful, and guilty—guilty for wanting more, guilty for saying no, guilty for putting herself first.

She’d spend her days tending to everyone else’s needs, sacrificing her own happiness, and yet, deep down, she felt empty. She wondered, Is this all there is?

Her emotions ranged from frustration to sadness, and a persistent sense of “something’s missing” kept her awake at night. She was tired of feeling like she was running on empty, caught in a cycle of pleasing others and neglecting herself.

She knew she needed a change.

Together, we worked on transforming her inner landscape through a proven process rooted in mindset, energy, and the Science of Happiness:

  • Using techniques from positive intelligence, Shauna identified and quieted her inner saboteurs—those critical voices that fueled her self-doubt and guilt. Research shows that managing these inner voices can greatly boost resilience and emotional well-being.
  • Establishing daily healthy habits, like gratitude, movement, and self-compassion, helped rewire her brain for more positive emotions and greater life satisfaction.
  • Clearing emotional energetic blocks, allowing her to release old patterns of stress and overwhelm that kept her stuck.
  • Learning to set healthy boundaries—an act that empowered her to protect her energy and prioritize her needs without guilt.

The transformation was profound. Shauna now feels energized, connected to herself, and genuinely happy—inside and out. She’s rediscovered her motivation and joy, and finally feels like she’s living in alignment with her true self.

If you’re feeling the same way—overwhelmed, unfulfilled, emotionally drained—know that change is possible.

Book your Happiness Strategy Call today. Because you deserve to wake up each day feeling motivated, fulfilled, and excited about your life.

Read Shauna’s Review

How to Overcome Procrastination to Live a Happy Life

How to Overcome Procrastination to Live a Happy Life

How to Overcome Procrastination

Overcoming Procrastination to Live a Happy Life

I want to talk about something that’s been showing up in a lot of my recent conversations—with clients, with friends, and yes, in my own life too: procrastination.

If you’ve ever stared at a to-do list that never gets shorter, or found yourself cleaning out the fridge instead of sending that important email, you’re not alone. We all do it. But I’ve come to see that procrastination isn’t really about being lazy or undisciplined. It’s usually a sign that something deeper is going on.

What I Noticed In Myself

Recently, I had a week where I kept putting off something I said I really wanted to do. Every morning I’d write it on my planner, and every night I’d cross it off—not because I did it, but because I was moving it to tomorrow. Again.

I started asking myself: What am I avoiding? What am I afraid of?

The answer surprised me. It wasn’t about the task itself—it was the pressure I was putting on myself to do it perfectly. That sneaky perfectionism had convinced me that if I didn’t have the “right” energy, or enough time, or the perfect strategy, I shouldn’t even start. And guess what? That belief was stealing my peace and blocking my joy.

Define Procrastination (It’s Not What You Think)

So let’s get clear. Procrastination isn’t a time issue—it’s an emotional regulation issue. It shows up when we’re overwhelmed, anxious, afraid of failure, or even afraid of success. It’s our nervous system trying to protect us from discomfort.

But the irony? The longer we avoid, the heavier it all feels. And that heaviness slowly chips away at our confidence and our happiness.

7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination

Here are some tools I use with clients (and myself!) when procrastination pops up:

  1. Start with compassion. Be curious, not critical. Ask: “What’s really holding me back?” No shame. Just honesty.
  2. Break it down. If the task feels too big, shrink it. What’s one small thing you can do in 10 minutes?
  3. Use the 5-minute rule. Commit to working on something for just 5 minutes. That’s it. Most of the time, starting is the hardest part.
  4. Time-block your tasks. Give your task a home in your schedule—not just a spot on your list. Even 20 minutes counts.
  5. Set a timer. Try a Pomodoro (25 minutes of focus, 5-minute break). It creates rhythm and momentum.
  6. Create accountability. Tell someone what you’re doing. Share your goal. It helps when someone’s cheering you on.

  7. Celebrate progress, not perfection. Every little step counts. Momentum builds joy.

Why This Matters for a Happy Life

When we procrastinate, we disconnect from our goals, and—more importantly—from ourselves. We ignore our needs, silence our inner voice, and delay the life we’re trying to build.

But when we show up for ourselves, even in small ways, something shifts. We rebuild trust. We move with purpose. We feel lighter.

Overcoming procrastination isn’t about being more productive—it’s about being more present. It’s about creating a life where we feel empowered, aligned, and proud of how we show up. That’s the real win. That’s where happiness starts to grow.

A Gentle Invitation

So if there’s something you’ve been putting off—whether it’s a dream, a decision, or just that annoying email—I invite you to pause. Breathe. Ask what you need. And then take just one step.

You don’t have to do it all. You just have to do the next thing.  And if that next thing seems murky, send me a message.  We’re in this together.

Your partner in happiness,

Coach Lisa

Juggling Work and Family

Juggling Work and Family

Juggling Work and Family

The Balancing Act: Juggling Work, Family, and “Me Time” Like a Pro

At Live Happy Coaching, we believe that life is meant to be lived to the fullest—balancing work, family, and personal time to create a fulfilling and joyful existence. In our fast-paced world, finding that sweet spot can feel like a juggling act, but with the right strategies, achieving some version of equilibrium is possible!

Let’s dive into some energizing tips to help you create a balanced life.

1. Prioritize Your Values

Start by identifying what truly matters to you. Is it family time, career advancement, or personal growth? Write down your core values and use them as a compass to guide your decisions. When your choices align with your values, you’ll naturally find more balance and fulfillment.

Try This: Create a values list and rank them. Choose one to focus on this week.

2. Set Boundaries

In a world where work often spills into personal life, setting clear boundaries is crucial. Define specific work hours and communicate them to your colleagues and family. This way, you can fully engage in work during work hours and dedicate your personal time to family and self-care. Remember, it’s okay to say no! 
Try This: Write down your work hours and share them with your team and family.

3. Schedule Family Time

Just as you schedule meetings and deadlines, carve out dedicated time for your family. Plan weekly family activities, game nights, or even simple dinner conversations. Prioritizing quality time strengthens relationships and creates lasting memories. Family is your foundation—nurture it!
Try This: Set a recurring family night in your calendar—no distractions allowed!

4. Embrace ‘Me Time’

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential! Make time for activities that rejuvenate you—whether it’s reading, exercising, meditating, or pursuing a hobby. Schedule ‘me time’ just like any important appointment. When you invest in yourself, you’ll have more energy and positivity to share with others. 
Try This: Block out 30 minutes in your week for a personal activity you love.

5. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you stay present and focused, making it easier to balance various aspects of your life. Incorporate simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or mindful walks into your daily routine. These moments of clarity can help you manage stress and enhance your overall well-being. 

Try This: Start your day with 5 minutes of deep breathing to set a positive tone.

6. Leverage Technology Wisely

Use technology to your advantage! Utilize apps for task management, scheduling, and family organization. However, be mindful of screen time—set limits to ensure that technology doesn’t encroach on your interactions and downtime. Find that sweet spot where tech enhances, rather than detracts from, your life. 
Try This: Choose one productivity app to streamline your tasks this week.

7. Reflect and Adjust

Life is dynamic, and your approach to balance may need to evolve. Regularly reflect on your routines and commitments. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are there areas where you can simplify? Don’t hesitate to adjust your strategies as needed. Flexibility allows for growth and adaptability. 

Try This: Spend 10 minutes at the end of each week reviewing what worked and what didn’t.

8. Seek Support

Don’t hesitate to reach out for support! Whether it’s friends, family, or a coach, having a support system can provide encouragement and accountability as you strive for balance. Sometimes, sharing your journey with others can lead to valuable insights and solutions. 

Try This: Schedule a coffee chat with a friend to share your balance goals and brainstorm together.

Conclusion

Creating a balanced life requires patience and compassion. With these strategies, you can cultivate an equilibrium between work, family, and personal time. Remember, balance looks different for everyone—embrace what works for you! 

At Live Happy Coaching, we’re dedicated to helping you live your best life. If you’re ready to take the next step toward achieving balance and fulfillment, reach out to us: lisa@livehappycoaching.com

Navigating Difficult Emotions During The Election Season

Navigating Difficult Emotions During The Election Season

Navigating Difficult Emotions During Election Season.

As we dive deeper into this election season, it’s natural to feel a whirlwind of emotions. Anxiety, frustration, and even anger can surface as we navigate the complexities of our political landscape. I want to remind you that it’s okay to feel these emotions—what matters most is how we respond to them.

Embrace Your Feelings

First and foremost, allow yourself to fully experience what you’re feeling. Emotions are not inherently good or bad; they are signals that provide us with important information. By acknowledging and validating your feelings, you create space for personal growth and understanding. Remember, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed—you’re not alone in this.

Practice Self-Compassion

In times of uncertainty, it’s easy to fall into judgment, both of ourselves and others. Instead of criticizing your feelings, practice self-compassion.

Navigating Difficult Emotions During The Election Season

Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend facing similar challenges. Recognize that everyone is navigating their own emotional landscape, and compassion can be a powerful antidote to judgment.

Shift Your Perspective

I believe in the power of perspective. Instead of viewing this election season solely through the lens of conflict, consider it an opportunity for growth and connection. Engage in conversations that foster understanding, and seek out diverse viewpoints. This can help transform feelings of division into opportunities for empathy and learning.

Focus on What You Can Control

While we cannot control the outcome of the election, we can control our responses and actions. Focus on what brings you joy and fulfillment. Engage in activities that uplift your spirit, whether it’s connecting with loved ones, volunteering, or practicing mindfulness. By directing your energy toward positive actions, you can cultivate a sense of empowerment amidst uncertainty.

Create Space for Dialogue

Let’s also remember the importance of open dialogue. Encourage discussions within your community that prioritize kindness and understanding. Share your feelings, listen actively to others, and create a safe space for everyone to express themselves. This can foster a sense of connection and reduce the isolation that often accompanies difficult emotions.

You Are Not Alone

As we navigate this challenging time together, hold onto the belief that you have the strength to face your emotions constructively. Lean on your support network, engage in self-care, and remind yourself that every feeling is a stepping stone toward greater resilience.

Let’s choose to rise above the challenges and create a community rooted in compassion, understanding, and hope. Together, we can transform this election season into a period of personal and collective growth.

If you have any questions or need support, send me an email at lisa@livehappycoaching.com.

I’d love to hear from you!

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