This is a recent picture of me during our retreat in Costa Rica. When I shared it on social media, I received many generous comments, all celebrating this image as BEAUTIFUL.
Ironically, when I looked at this picture, that’s not what I felt. I felt embarrassed by the image, I experienced incredible resistance to sharing it. I became hyper-focused on those parts of me that I am struggling to find acceptance with as I age. My self – judgment had taken over.
When I looked at this picture I saw:
- The lines around my eyes.
- Thinning, gray hair underneath my hat.
- Extra pounds around my waste,
- Sagging breasts.
These self-rejecting thoughts left me feeling sad, embarrassed, and ashamed.
When we judge ourself, we are held hostage by our self-deprecating thoughts. These thoughts lead us down a dark path of shame and self-sabotage.
These thoughts are not grounded in truth, Our Judge is a liar
As I sat with the awareness of what I was feeling, I was able to remind myself how I felt when I took this picture.
I was in love.
At that moment, I was deeply in love with life, myself as a strong feminine leader, and in full acceptance of myself, and my aging body. I was in love with ALL OF ME.
What is radiating from this picture is the energy of SELF-LOVE.
As I reconnected to this memory, I felt the love rise in me again. That is when I decided that this image needed to be shared. I had shifted from self-judgment, to self-compassion.
You may be surprised to read this story. You may look at this picture and assume that thoughts like this don’t exist for me.
Please receive this gently, you are WRONG.
The one thing that every human on this planet shares is judgment. It does not discriminate. Judgment robs us of our happiness, joy, pride, excitement, and love, equally and without exception.
I hope that this reality brings you 2 things; greater empathy for others, and comfort in knowing that you are not alone in thinking this way about yourself.
It has taken me many years to arrive at this point in my life. Although the judgment exists, it no longer wins.
The greatest catalyst to commanding my mind in this way came from taking the Positive Intelligence program. That is why I offer it to my clients now.
It doesn’t matter how long you meditate, how healthy you eat, how much money you have in the bank, or how many people love you. If you stand in front of the bathroom mirror and all you see is a person that you think is a failure, or not good enough. None of those other things will make a dam bit of difference on what it feels like to be you on the inside.
If you want to be happy, if you want to feel self-love, you must first pass through the gate of self-acceptance.
For more information on my Positive Intelligence program contact me at lisa@livehappycoaching.com
